Everyone was filled with joy at Aunty Shahudah's return to the house, but apart from me, nothing had caused it except the welcome I received from her after I returned from work at her place.

In my eagerness to see her and miss her, I wanted to, but she looked at me in a look of humiliation and disgust like she had before, and finally she started laughing at my work. That was not a small pain, especially when I saw that Mom had also followed her and was laughing at me. I held back and laughed at them, because I made a promise to myself that God willing they would stop seeing my weakness now. After we finished laughing, I went to my room and told Aunty Aamilah how I was doing now.

I went into my room and fell on my bed and burst into tears. Of course, humiliation is never a bad thing in life. Humiliation of a person is a terrible thing, but in this world, there is nothing that people are more proud of than humiliating their Muslim brother.

“You see a rich man belittling a poor man even with words, a learned man belittling a slave, a ruler belittling his followers, a husband belittling his family, a brother belittling his subordinate. No matter how much a person is superior to another, he still blows his nose at the thought of insulting someone he does not know, seeing people with this behavior, like GOD, who is the only one who does not give, he does not forget to forgive, and many times you give, he gives and withholds, the power of this praise is that one is educated and another is ignorant, one is given wealth and another is poor, one is given birth and another is childless, one is given power and another is a follower, one is given health and another is sick, everyone in life has their own trials, who are you, do not show that you are better than anyone else, whether you have something or not, do not show that GOD loves you more, GOD also loves me, and I thank Him again for the way he treated me, Aunty Shahudah.......”

From that day on, I was once again indifferent to everyone and everything in the house. Dad never returned, and Yah Qaseem had been away since the day after Aunty Shahudah returned home. Even at work, I was not feeling well. Ummie and some of my colleagues attributed my lack of well-being to missing Yah Qaseem and the information, so by now many people knew about the relationship between me and him.

For my part, it's not just the loss of Yah Qaseem and the situation at our house that's bothering me, there's something else I'm trying to push away from my mind, because I don't want to believe my heart's words, even if it's just a joke.

Today was Friday, the same day Aunty Shahudah returned, four days after Dad also returned, everyone was celebrating his return as usual, and he was welcomed by his wife as well as Aunty Shahudah who was seeing this unexpected return. I was walking behind him despite Dad's physical pain, with a slight movement he dropped my name in his conversation, so I was careful not to hurt Aunty Shahudah's heart, and so was Mom. I was careful not to do anything wrong, so I pulled myself together and ran to the room, right.